Finding my feet on the ground.

15823_10205688499944601_70575943764160487_n.jpg

As-salamu alaykum السلام عليكم everyone. 

How is everyone doing on this fine day? This week’s weather has been lovely. It finally feels like spring. It also lets me know that my Birthday is getting closer.

Last time I spoke, I have told you I have graduated but, with few hurdles I had to deal with. So far, it has been an interesting experience.  I thought starting University would be the hardest part of my education journey however, I was wrong. After you graduate, you have the problem of finding a job let alone a suitable one, and that’s only if you know what route you would like to go. Then there is this more problematic situation to be in for those who know exactly what career they want but, do not have the required qualification or experience to achieve it <- I am in that category.

Have you had a clear plan in your head but it didn’t work out? I had a plan that I was going to spend this gap year doing a Teaching Assistant job so, I get the experience required for doing a Teacher Training course for next year. I am yet to find a Teaching Assistant job. It turns out, it is way more difficult than I anticipated. You know what? This sounds more of a moaning post than I have hoped.

Anyway, what I have been doing apart from moaning (I swear I haven’t) is that I’ve had voluntary experience in 3 different Secondary Schools. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience and it has been the most valuable lesson. This has clarified to me that Teaching is the profession I want to do for the rest of my life. I still haven’t given up yet in looking for a Teaching Assistant job. Also, I could do with a bit more money 😉 greedy laugh.

Aside from current update of my life…

There is this constant problem I have been dealing with. The problem of trying to find your path, the path to the right destination. I know I am not alone. There is probably the entire graduates who are searching around for their “second home” but, they don’t have the tool or a map to know where to start. I have been feeling like a lost puppy for this entire year. It is a first for me, to not know where or what I am doing. It petrifies me. I hate it. How do people not lose hope? I had to keep finding the solution to that problem and I think I may have found it.

I think there is two keys to sustain your Hope or determination. The first is the external key which is, being surrounded by positive & loving people. One factor that has always kept me sane was the element of my family & friends. However, you must have the RIGHT people in your life. Many of us might have many family and friends but, they don’t really help us or could actually make a matter worse. As they say, “it’s not the quantity but the quality”.  I believe this is one of the most important factor in making someone’s life a happy one. If you do not have people with good energy, the people who don’t give you the motivation, always remind you to never give up then, you need to distance them. They are not good for your soul. I can vouch for this advice as I have had many experience in this area. Remember, your inner demons would constant try to take over you, it is the people around you who can remind you of your goal & your unique qualities.

The second is the internal key which is, reflection. At time like these, your self-esteem is fragile. You have very little confidence in your abilities, your skills and majority of yourself. People can only do soo much but, it is ourselves that can deal properly with our internal problems. This has been probably the second time my self-esteem has been a major problem. I have to deal with it every day. When I have those doubtful moments, I sit back for a few seconds and reflect on how far I’ve come in my journey. Look at how much you have achieved. Look at how well you have done for yourself. You could have gone completely astray but, you haven’t. Give yourself a pat in the back (seriously). This will allow you to feel proud of yourself. It should give you back the confidence to carry on working hard to achieve whatever your goal is in life.

This may sound more like a motivation speech compare to a friend passing on some advice. I don’t know how I turn into a “motivation speech” mode Hahah. Either way, I hope my post has given you a boost of positive energy & if you can, pass some of your positive energy this way.

If you are wondering seamlessly in this world, keep looking because you will find the right door. Either way, you will find a companion along the way….

Have a great day my friends.

Signing off

Tasnia xox

Allah Hafiz

A graduate facing the big bad world

As-salamu alaykum السلام عليكم to  all the lovely readers. 

11904638_10153753745413974_4542007115936269741_n

It feels surreal to be even reading the title. I graduated? seriously? Yes. I have recently graduated with a BA in English Language and Linguistic. Woo! That was a mouthful to say but, also it sounds kind of fancy. 🙂

My graduation day was perfect. Everything was perfect – The outfit, the ceremony, my classmates, the photographs and a large amount of proud family and friends wishes Alhamdullilah. I definitely did not expect it to be one of the happiest moment of my life because of the circumstances I was in but, my best friend and parents were right. Sometimes it’s alright to consider your parents advice but, only sometimes 😉

What circumstance could you be in for your graduation to be ruined or jeopardised? Well… I graduated with a 3rd class in my degree *bowing down in shame*. For those who do not know how bad it is – it’s the lowest low mark you can achieve in a degree. It’s one place above a “Fail”. To put it into more perspective – it is equivalent of you getting an E or D grade. I realised this isn’t helping me in any way possible haha heck! At least, I am still laughing. This is why I was by a thread, considering to not attend my graduation.

Now that the worst part is over. Let us go into some positivism….

I may have not done greatly. Yes. I was initially heartbroken, shattered, I buried myself in a ditch but, my parents and sister helped me come out of the dark and into the light. They helped me see how this was actually not the end of the world. We all get soo caught up in our education that we tend to forget what holds dear to us. In case, you are one of those people, let me remind you what is more important to you than education.

If it wasn’t for my family & friends love and support, I would have not come out alive *Dramatic Music* because this knocked my confidence right down and sucked the energy out of me. I was constantly worried which also caused stress and unhappiness. I eventually, would have most likely ended up facing depression again. So, what if I didn’t have any of my family and friends? what would my life be like? We all know the answer to that question. It’s during the hardship do we realise how lucky we are to have these loving people in our life. This was definitely one of those moments.

Enough of my dramatism. You are all wondering what I am now doing with my life. My passion is to be an English Secondary School teacher (yes I am being serious). I was very close in changing my job prospective but, along came one of my amazing auntie who woke me up to reality. I am currently working as a Teaching Assistant in Secondary Schools. This would enhance my experience in a classroom and give me an even greater opportunity into Teaching or teaching courses. It is my first week of working and I am loving it.

So… Do not let any hurdles stop you from achieving your aspirations. They may seem like a big drop when in reality, they are small hiccups along the way. I tend to have one of my “Motivational speech moments” hehe.

I hope someone out there who has lost all hope has gained a small spark of faith to go for their dreams.

Take care my readers. Signing off

Tasnia xox 

I have been blessed with a loving family <3

As-salamu alaykum السلام عليكم my beautiful readers

IMG_3762

How are you doing on this fine day? Today I am feeling very optimistic 🙂 You can probably tell from this post. Its a more positive post than negative. I hope I do come across a more positive person. I don’t want to be a moody fart.  Its a beautiful and sunny day down my end Mashallah. Yep, today post is about my family. We all have the problem with keeping family ties and this is my experience in this matter.

my entire life I have always been showered with love from my family Alhamdullilah. Like every Asian out there, we are known to have a big family and thank god for that.  My life has been great and one of the reason for that is because of the great family I have Alhamdullilah. To my amazement, I have always realised the importance of having my family with me and never have I not appreciated them. I believe the main reason for this is because I have always remained a strong relationships with all of my family members. The credit all goes to my parents. If it wasn’t for them also having a good relationship with the entire family then we would not have had that blessing. Unfortunately some of my family members have or are not experiencing this blessing.

The relatives have not uphold the ties with some of the family members which has caused them to be deprived from their love and this has also been taken away from their children. This was sad for me to see. I have grown up and observed this. It has  caused many problems within my family. The Islamic concept of upholding family ties have been lost in my family. I did not like it and it was making me angry. My parents have always taught me and my sister to always try my best to stay in contact with my whole family. That is also including the extended family. It was a different story for some of my family members.

Why is it that some of my family was thinking like this?!? “I will not visit them because they do not visit me” – this is the concept some of my relative had. My family follow the principle of giving a gift in return for a gift, and visiting in return for a visit, so if someone does not give them a gift, they do not give him a gift, and if he does not visit them, they do not visit him. This is what they were teaching their children who are my cousins and this is their reason for cutting ties with some of the relatives. When I first use to hear this I found it annoying but, now I have come to the point feeling sorry for them. This is because our family are our blessing from Allah SWT & keeping this narrow minded view regarding our relatives is us wasting away the blessings we have been granted in our life. Not to forget it is also not Islamic.

The Hadith says: – “The one who truly upholds those ties is the one who does so even if they break off the relationship.” (al-Bukhaari, 5645).

If the relationship is merely one of returning favours and giving like in return for like, and not taking the initiative, then this is not upholding the ties of kinship, it is only responding in kind. Therefore this is not at all required in Islam, it is not the higher degree which Islam urges us to reach.

I realised how important it was for me to inform my family obviously, with good manners. It was my duty to teach them the correct way to treat our family. The family members who had uphold this concept opened their eyes to the right way. At the same time, I learnt that this concept was a cultural teaching. Their parents (who are my grandparents) did not have the privilege of having access to Islamic materials everywhere as we do today. It was a learning curve, I have learnt to appreciate the internet and books that we have available.

It’s great to see the improvement with relationship within family improving Alhamdullilah. Now some of my cousins can also be spoilt with love and affection from the family. I love my family soo much and grateful to have the family I have Alhamdullilah.

Inshallah you all have the same to say. If not, then I hope you can take the initial step to amend ties.

Have a blessed day my fellow bloggers.

Allah Hafiz

Tasnia xox 

 

Losing Hope

As-salamu alaykum السلام عليكم My dear bloggers 🙂 

How are you? Inshallah well.

I’ve been away for a long time from the world of Blogging. I did promise myself I would try to put entries as much as possible. Persistency has been an issue. Somehow I found it hard to think about what my recent entry is going to be about. Maybe that’s because I have a lot of things going on in my mind… Many questions, many worries, many possibilities, many scenarios etc mostly, negative thoughts. Then I remember, I said I was going to write about the journey of my life. So, I came to the conclusion to talk about the current demon I have (still am) been facing the time I was away from here. I read that this would help me in many ways.

The demon I have been going through is Depression. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t yet been diagnosed by the doctors because I am not comfortable to talk about this to anyone or to very very few people. From TV, googling and knowing people who have depression I have come to the solution that it was depression. There was no other explanation. I know Depression is one of the most common mental illness. I know you have heard or read about it many times. I know I have. I use to switch whenever the subject use to arise. I believe reading through people’s experience of depression helps by being aware.

I’m not sure when the first symptom of Depression appeared. As far as I remember, it might have started when I had my first assignment to do. I started my final year of University in a high note. I was motivated, positive and really looking forward to learning. However, one point my emotions started to go down. It was a gradual downpour. It likely started when I missed my one lecture, when I had a lot of university work to do. I wanted to get on top of the work before the pile grew bigger. The cycle of my university absence was getting persistent. There were times when I would miss an entire week of university. The more I missed, the more I had to catch up on. At that point, I don’t exactly remember how I was feeling. I remember the negativity starting to gently kick in. I don’t know why I started to miss lessons after the first one, when I knew I would get into this mess? Now, you can imagine how having soo much work to catch up on, and do, would affect someone’s motivation.

Eventually I lost all motivation & determination. My mind was filled with all negative thoughts. This lead to me procrastinating. I somehow couldn’t get myself to do anything. I didn’t want to do any of the university work. I got to the point where I didn’t want to get out of bed. I wanted to do NOTHING. I left my assignment deadlines & revision to the last minute. But, I didn’t want my family (parents & sister) to see me in bed the whole day for no good reason. I didn’t want them to see me go through depression. This was the rope that stopped this demon from taking over me. This was the driving force that got me to get things done. I didn’t want anyone to know I was going through this issue. I didn’t get any satisfaction from the things that made me feel happy.  I was feeling like I was the worst person alive. Every negative connotation was me.  I felt empty.  It felt like I was slowly burying myself.

I find it hard to explain the emotions I was going through. I guess, depression is a hard concept to explain to people or even myself. The big question that kept constantly going through my mind is:-

“Why would I go through Depression if there is nothing bad going on in my life?”

Even now I am trying to find the answer to that question. I’m not sure if there is one. I learnt there is various degrees of depression. I obviously, don’t have major depression because major depression is when you can’t get on with your daily life. I think, I have minor depression. As soon as I identified my problem the sooner I was able to find a solution.

My university friends noticed there was something going wrong with me. They tried to reach out to me but, I didn’t feel comfortable to confess to any of them. The reason because I didn’t have that connection or close friendship with most of them to be able to talk about my emotions. There was one close friend ‘Klaudia’ who I felt one of the closet to. She was the first person I expressed my problem to and she was a great support. Thankfully, my best friend ‘Emma’ was the very person who I think got me through this which she probably doesn’t know. She is the person I tell my heart & soul to & she has always been one of the closest person in my life. I felt better just by talking to her about my battle. It turned out she was going through something similar. It made things better because she understood where I was coming from. She understood me and my battle.

Here I am still trying to vanish Depression. I have come far. It is still a problem I am going through. Hidden on my own from rest of the world is probably not helping my progression. I am thinking positive. Unlike before, this time I have determination to come through this.

I am finishing off feeling optimistic. Writing this has given me a glimpse of hope. Who thought by doing something simple as this can make things a bit better 🙂

IMG_0682

Thank you for reading through this depressing piece hahaha

Hope life treats you all good Inshallah.

Take care, Allah Hafiz

Tasnia xox

 

 

The Charlie Hebdo Attack is against the Islamic Teaching.

As-salamu alaykum السلام عليكم My dear Muslims

paris-charlie-AFP_3157546k

Many of us are baffled about the horrific incident in Paris. What I want us all to understand is the correct Islamic teaching regarding the issue of “mocking the prophet Muhammad (PBUH)”.

 “When you see them engaged in vain discourse about our signs, turn away from them unless they engage in a different subject.” (6:68) Quran

Muslims are advised to simply withdraw from such a discourse, and join the gathering back, if they happen to change the subject. Certainly that means we’re not even supposed to feel hatred towards them. Let alone kill them. Remember, people can be easily lead to believe something is the truth but, it is our job to go out there and educate others and ourself from authentic sources in order for ignorance to be abolished. It’s time like these that show the importance in unity, love and kindness.

May we all have a moment to think about the family and friends of the victims. May Allah SWT give them mercy and burden their pains. Ameen.

Wishing you all a good night or day.

Signing off. Allah Hafiz xox 

“Seeking knowledge is obligatory upon every Muslim” – Hadith

As-salamu alaykum السلام عليكم My dear Muslims

63937_10204585910700559_6220505511362250837_n

How are you all doing? Inshallah well 🙂

I have an important advice to pass onto you guys. I found this reminder has changed my life in a big way than I thought. What I am going to talk briefly about is seeking knowledge of Islam but, the right way.

It is important to make sure we are gaining our knowledge of Islam from the correct sources. It is easy for us to learn about Islam from materials & people (humans are not perfect) that do not back up the points from the Quran or The Hadith. If we want to learn the right way of Islam then we must be careful where we get our knowledge from. The following questions I keep asking myself whenever I come across a source of Islamic information are:

1) Does this point appear in the Quran?

2) Did Muhammad PBUH follow this teaching?

Like everything else we learn, we need evidence before we prove our point. Without evidence how can you consider the facts? Throughout my life I have found it significant to properly learn Islam from the Quran.  What I mean by this is, examining the current situation of the verse that was revealed at the time,  Who was it revealed to? Who is Allah SWT talking about? and why did he reveal this?

I came to my realise that learning Islam from the Quran is not just by reading but, closely looking at the Holy book. Its looking at the small details that make a big difference. The consequence of not doing this, was me missing the gems of The Quran & it lead me slowly to the wrong path. People may think what is she on about wrong path? well if we think about it, if you are acquiring knowledge of Islam without the evidence shown then you are obviously acquiring the wrong information. This leads to us implementing the wrong message of Islam. We would also pass on the wrong knowledge of Islam to others which either begin to get them confused (different teachings) or be also  leading them along with you to the wrong path. This is actually more serious than we consider.

Gaining wrong message of Islam could possible lead us to have extreme views . When I was learning Islam from internet sources and books which did not correctly back up the information from the Quran or Hadith I found myself holding some extreme views of Islam. For example, In 6-form I would slowly start to back away from my non-Muslim friend. I would try not to interact with them in any possible way even though, they did not lead me away from Islam. I came to the point where I would start to hate non-Muslims. It was getting a bit too extreme and my parents started to realise I was going the other way.

Its thanks to my family passing this advice unto me that got me to the right path. I thought this might be also a helpful advice to pass on to my fellow Muslims.

Inshallah this benefits you,have a good day.

Allah Hafiz 

Tasnia x