Finding my feet on the ground.

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As-salamu alaykum السلام عليكم everyone. 

How is everyone doing on this fine day? This week’s weather has been lovely. It finally feels like spring. It also lets me know that my Birthday is getting closer.

Last time I spoke, I have told you I have graduated but, with few hurdles I had to deal with. So far, it has been an interesting experience.  I thought starting University would be the hardest part of my education journey however, I was wrong. After you graduate, you have the problem of finding a job let alone a suitable one, and that’s only if you know what route you would like to go. Then there is this more problematic situation to be in for those who know exactly what career they want but, do not have the required qualification or experience to achieve it <- I am in that category.

Have you had a clear plan in your head but it didn’t work out? I had a plan that I was going to spend this gap year doing a Teaching Assistant job so, I get the experience required for doing a Teacher Training course for next year. I am yet to find a Teaching Assistant job. It turns out, it is way more difficult than I anticipated. You know what? This sounds more of a moaning post than I have hoped.

Anyway, what I have been doing apart from moaning (I swear I haven’t) is that I’ve had voluntary experience in 3 different Secondary Schools. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience and it has been the most valuable lesson. This has clarified to me that Teaching is the profession I want to do for the rest of my life. I still haven’t given up yet in looking for a Teaching Assistant job. Also, I could do with a bit more money 😉 greedy laugh.

Aside from current update of my life…

There is this constant problem I have been dealing with. The problem of trying to find your path, the path to the right destination. I know I am not alone. There is probably the entire graduates who are searching around for their “second home” but, they don’t have the tool or a map to know where to start. I have been feeling like a lost puppy for this entire year. It is a first for me, to not know where or what I am doing. It petrifies me. I hate it. How do people not lose hope? I had to keep finding the solution to that problem and I think I may have found it.

I think there is two keys to sustain your Hope or determination. The first is the external key which is, being surrounded by positive & loving people. One factor that has always kept me sane was the element of my family & friends. However, you must have the RIGHT people in your life. Many of us might have many family and friends but, they don’t really help us or could actually make a matter worse. As they say, “it’s not the quantity but the quality”.  I believe this is one of the most important factor in making someone’s life a happy one. If you do not have people with good energy, the people who don’t give you the motivation, always remind you to never give up then, you need to distance them. They are not good for your soul. I can vouch for this advice as I have had many experience in this area. Remember, your inner demons would constant try to take over you, it is the people around you who can remind you of your goal & your unique qualities.

The second is the internal key which is, reflection. At time like these, your self-esteem is fragile. You have very little confidence in your abilities, your skills and majority of yourself. People can only do soo much but, it is ourselves that can deal properly with our internal problems. This has been probably the second time my self-esteem has been a major problem. I have to deal with it every day. When I have those doubtful moments, I sit back for a few seconds and reflect on how far I’ve come in my journey. Look at how much you have achieved. Look at how well you have done for yourself. You could have gone completely astray but, you haven’t. Give yourself a pat in the back (seriously). This will allow you to feel proud of yourself. It should give you back the confidence to carry on working hard to achieve whatever your goal is in life.

This may sound more like a motivation speech compare to a friend passing on some advice. I don’t know how I turn into a “motivation speech” mode Hahah. Either way, I hope my post has given you a boost of positive energy & if you can, pass some of your positive energy this way.

If you are wondering seamlessly in this world, keep looking because you will find the right door. Either way, you will find a companion along the way….

Have a great day my friends.

Signing off

Tasnia xox

Allah Hafiz

What is Success?

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Many of us would say success is acquiring lots of money, living an extravagant lifestyle or upholding a degree. To me, success is living your life doing what you love & being around those who nourish your soul. Success has nothing to do with wealth & failure has nothing to do with poverty.

Wishing you all my dear readers life full of success & happiness. Ameen 

Have a great day.

Allah Hafiz

Tasnia xox

Life is temporary

As-salamu alaykum السلام عليكم everyone 🙂 

How are you all doing? Insh’Allah you are all keeping well.

I had what you call “a reminder or an awakening lesson” yesterday. Yesterday in the early morning of 7pm I woke up tp get ready to go and visit my family in Kent. It is a 3 hours drive from my city Bristol. I had to see my auntie & uncle who have come back from Hajj – my mother even made me take a day off for that day.

In the midst of when I was getting ready….

My mother received a phone call from one of my auntie who informed her of some ill news. The terrible news was that one of my auntie (mums older sister-in-law) mother has passed away in the early mornings in Bangladesh. This news turned this trip into a horrific one. As soon as we heard (my parents and sister) our mood went completely down. I did not want to go to kent because it meant I had to see my lovely auntie go through such a tragic event.

My heart went out to my auntie and her family. As I suspected, she was brave and she was strong because that is how my auntie is. That is the way she deals with her life events. Don’t get me wrong, she was a mess, she was crying her heart out -wrenching her soul out there. Who wouldn’t when they find out their own mother has gone from them forever? No one can imagine going through someone beloved going from them.

This once again was a reminder of how my life is temporary. I am a living time bomb. I can go any second. I have an expiry date and that expiry date is about to run out. It is time to wake up! This is another time Allah SWT was sending me a message that I will soon be return to him.

Inna Lillahi wa inna ilayhi Rajiun. 

 Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.

Now I am here trying to think of ways to improve myself as a person so, I can be a better version of myself every day. May we all have a moment to pray for my auntie and her family. May Allah SWT grant her Jannatul Firdous and every one of those souls who has already tasted death, Ameen.

I’m wishing you all a good day or night, depending on where you are in right now.

Let’s not be too late in doing all the good deeds.

Take care my dear readers. Allah Hafiz.

Tasnia xox

One year ago…

It was a year ago when I first started wearing the Hijab.

The Hijab has been the best lesson I have ever tooken. It has made me think twice before I make a wrong deed & it has made me become comfortable with my inner & outer beauty. The Hijab has become an integral part of who I am & now it has become a second nature to me. Time goes by quick. It’s not a day where I would not think twice to change that decision of mines.

Our beauty lies within & the Hijab is the very core of that representation.

What is more important than realising your unique beauty ❤ 

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A graduate facing the big bad world

As-salamu alaykum السلام عليكم to  all the lovely readers. 

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It feels surreal to be even reading the title. I graduated? seriously? Yes. I have recently graduated with a BA in English Language and Linguistic. Woo! That was a mouthful to say but, also it sounds kind of fancy. 🙂

My graduation day was perfect. Everything was perfect – The outfit, the ceremony, my classmates, the photographs and a large amount of proud family and friends wishes Alhamdullilah. I definitely did not expect it to be one of the happiest moment of my life because of the circumstances I was in but, my best friend and parents were right. Sometimes it’s alright to consider your parents advice but, only sometimes 😉

What circumstance could you be in for your graduation to be ruined or jeopardised? Well… I graduated with a 3rd class in my degree *bowing down in shame*. For those who do not know how bad it is – it’s the lowest low mark you can achieve in a degree. It’s one place above a “Fail”. To put it into more perspective – it is equivalent of you getting an E or D grade. I realised this isn’t helping me in any way possible haha heck! At least, I am still laughing. This is why I was by a thread, considering to not attend my graduation.

Now that the worst part is over. Let us go into some positivism….

I may have not done greatly. Yes. I was initially heartbroken, shattered, I buried myself in a ditch but, my parents and sister helped me come out of the dark and into the light. They helped me see how this was actually not the end of the world. We all get soo caught up in our education that we tend to forget what holds dear to us. In case, you are one of those people, let me remind you what is more important to you than education.

If it wasn’t for my family & friends love and support, I would have not come out alive *Dramatic Music* because this knocked my confidence right down and sucked the energy out of me. I was constantly worried which also caused stress and unhappiness. I eventually, would have most likely ended up facing depression again. So, what if I didn’t have any of my family and friends? what would my life be like? We all know the answer to that question. It’s during the hardship do we realise how lucky we are to have these loving people in our life. This was definitely one of those moments.

Enough of my dramatism. You are all wondering what I am now doing with my life. My passion is to be an English Secondary School teacher (yes I am being serious). I was very close in changing my job prospective but, along came one of my amazing auntie who woke me up to reality. I am currently working as a Teaching Assistant in Secondary Schools. This would enhance my experience in a classroom and give me an even greater opportunity into Teaching or teaching courses. It is my first week of working and I am loving it.

So… Do not let any hurdles stop you from achieving your aspirations. They may seem like a big drop when in reality, they are small hiccups along the way. I tend to have one of my “Motivational speech moments” hehe.

I hope someone out there who has lost all hope has gained a small spark of faith to go for their dreams.

Take care my readers. Signing off

Tasnia xox